Inevitable Events

2010-09-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

About a month till O'levels. Nervous? Scared? I don't think so. Confident? Complacent? Neither. Let me think. Oh yes, determined. Exactly. Determination is what i really should portray now. The grades I'm aiming for is not exactly easy to get.
Let me have a rundown; English: A1, Chinese: A1, Maths: A1-A2, POA: A1, Combined Humanities: A1-A2, Combined Science: A1-A2.
Best score: 4
Worst score: 6
( CCA points deducted )
It's not impossible. I must attain this goal and get into my ideal junior college. I must.
After exams, I'm not going to delay anymore on you.

2010-07-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

I really miss talking to you. Maybe I'm not obvious enough, perhaps I'm not charming enough, or probably I'm just not sincere enough? Just once. Just give me that one chance.

2010-06-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

Why can't i stop thinking about you? Why are you that unforgettable? And yet, i'm so disappointed. At least a bit? Not even a bit?

2010-06-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

Me. It's only me from now on. Yeah.

2010-05-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Just a blink of the eye, time quickly passes by.. O-levels are coming. Gotta prepare for it. No games for me after this post. Somewhere in early June, I'm gonna make my move. No hesitation. A chance to decide my future. Here i come.

2010-04-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

This is so disappointing... Damn it!

2010-04-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's my BirthDay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lols

Inevitable?

2010-04-10T23:37:00.000-07:00

It's already nearing the mid of the year. Is it good? Nope, when you got a major exam coming up. That impacts your life greatly. O-Levels. Yeah, that's the one. How many months have past? January? February? March? Now, it's the eventful April month.

Why did i say that? Well, happening to witness something sad and surprising isn't some daily stuff. Life is getting complicated. Seriously. Problems surfacing, situations worsening. Anyone sharing the same sentiments? Anyway, a special day is coming up this tuesday. My birthday. You might not refer it as special, but i do. However, it is still any normal day. Seen surprises for some of my friends. Very touching indeed. Oh great, what's up with me today, saying all these stuff. Bye people.

2010-04-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm Not Gonna Give You Up Yet. Swear On It.

Jokes ( Dirty ) ;) >Continual

2010-04-08T18:58:00.000-07:00

Teeing Off With A Mercedes Benz

On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz into a gas station in a remote part of the island.

The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner, completely unaware of who the golf pro is.

"Mornin' bye" says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.

As he does so, two tees fall out out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are dey den, son?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees" replies Tiger.

"Well, what on de good earth are dey for?" inquires the Newfie.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger.

"Freeckin Jaysus" says the Newfie, "Dem boys at Mercedes tink of everything".

Potty Mouths For Breakfast

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His Mom locks him in his room and shouts,"You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios."

My Stomach Hurts

A man with a bad stomach ache goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep into the rectum.

The man agrees and the doctor tells him to bend over, and shoves the thing way up his behind. The doctor then hands him the second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours time using rubber gloves and KY-Jelly or something.

So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. Thus, he calls his wife over and tells her what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home.

Suddenly the man screams in disgust.

"What's the matter hun?" asked his wife. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," replies the man, "but I just realized that when the doctor did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders."

Are you doing the right thing now?

2010-03-07T21:51:00.000-08:00

Time. It is an intangible asset of our daily lives. Precious it is, it is the deciding factor of your destruction, if not, your endless bright future. It all depends how you manage it well. Apparently, and unfortunately, it cannot be rewind, nor fast-forward.

Let's ask ourselves an honest question. Are we using our time well now? Think, think carefully, what would u want to be in the future? Then, are you doing the right thing now? Or are you just dawdling around?

Incomprehensible Situations

2010-03-05T06:29:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since i posted. Had a trip to the gym yesterday, was pondering hard about my life during my way back, walking slowly with the blasting music background by my phone. Was wondering whether I'm doing the right thing now and then, and decided to ask for advice from someone who was in the same predicament once.
Enlightened, I suppose I should be doing well now. Problems all around, solutions found, but hard to put it into practice, making me more pissed. Hope the plan goes well, otherwise it's hell.. Letting the nature take its course, canceling any pause, accepting any negative outcome so that i can overcome. Signing off, byes!

An Avowal To Be Made

2010-03-01T05:25:00.000-08:00

Now's the time to fight, for me to win the right.
If i don't do it fast, I'm gonna be last.
If I'm not careless, I'll be first.
If i forget, I'll regret.
Away with the dawdling, better get drilling,
as i am aware, it is only you i care..

I hope you'll wait for me, till the time's ripe to be.

School's not bad.

2010-02-05T07:14:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I've logged in blogger and post something. Well, it's been mostly about jokes during the holidays as I thought posting about my activities would not mean much.
Just got a blood-red scrape up my thigh due to a high-end brake, resulting me soaring through the air by the toss of my bike, ended by a rough hit onto the road, sliding for one second. Second time I've ever done that, pretty awesome when my bike collided with a taxi, sending me flying. Now, my legs and feet are pretty badly injured, perhaps i should take a break from sports?
On second thoughts, I don't think so. Have to train for a triathlon, first time going for it though, feeling pretty excited. Although my legs are in poor condition, I have to toughen them up by vigorous training. Okay, gotta go!

Clean Jokes

2009-12-27T07:57:00.000-08:00

Tales from the Loony Bin

Dr. Smith recently got his doctorate in psychology and his first assignment was to visit the community loony bin retirement home for the patient's monthly mental examination.

He sees his first patient and asks him, "Ralph, how much is six times six?" Ralph responds "74." He asks the next resident, "Tim, how much is six times six?" Tom responds, "Thursday." Expecting more of the same, he approaches Randy and asks him, "Randy, how much is six times?" "THIRTY-SIX" replies Randy. "That's right Randy, well done! Now tell me how did you know that answer?" "Oh it was easy... I just subtracted 74 from Thursday!"

A Blonde's trip to Chicago

A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde woman replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He kneels down next tothe woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Chicago."

Actual Macdonald's application for employment

These are actual answers on a McDonald's application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid's gonna go far...

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Lols.

Jokes ( Dirty ) ;) >Continual

2009-12-13T06:07:00.000-08:00

Birthday Suit

A wife was begining to worry about her and her husbands non-existant sex life. So one afternoon the woman decided to ask her friend for some advice on how to put the spark back into her marriage.

Her friend gave her some advice that always worked with her own husband. She told the woman that every day before her husband was due back home from work, she puts on her birthday suit and waits at the top of the stairs for him to arrive. when he does, he sees her and cannot resist her and they have wild passionate sex.

The woman ran home and immediately, put on her birthday suit and waited at the top of the stairs for her husband. Within time her husband arrived through the door, looked at her and said "what on earth are you doing?"

The wife replied "it's my birthday suit, don't you like it?"

The husband responded "you could have ironed it first"

A round of golf on Christmas Morning

A wife was begining to worry about her and her husbands non-existant sex life. So one afternoon the woman decided to ask her friend for some advice on how to put the spark back into her marriage.

The wife replied "it's my birthday suit, don't you like it?"

The husband responded "you could have ironed it first"

Grapes and Doughnuts

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but alw ays promised not to take a case if he felt he couldn't help. The Browns came into see the successful doctor and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests. Finally, he concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I can help you."

"On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.

Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help."

The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us."

"Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios... "

K, that's the end folks. To be continued..

Jokes ( Dirty ) ;) >Continual

2009-12-12T08:19:00.000-08:00

A blonde at Western Union

A blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe."

The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have that much money, and I must get a message to her, it's urgent! I'll do anything to get a message to her."

The clerk replies "Anything?"

"Yes... ANYTHING!" replies the blonde.

He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him and unzip his pants. She does. "Take it out", says theclerk."

She does this as well. She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says "Well... go ahead and do it..." She brings her lips close to it and shouts "Hello? ... Mom?"

Renting an adult movie

A blond decides to do something she's never done before - rent a dirty movie. She drives to the local Video Warehouse and makes here way to the adult section in the back. After looking around at titles, she selects a something that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment there's nothing but static on the screen. She calls the store to complain and says, "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing onthe tape, but static."

The clerk apologized about the defective video and asked, "Which title did you rent?" The blond replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.'"

Paying the rent

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

"Dear Madam:

Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note :

"Dear Sir:

First of all, I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady."

Ok, that's all folks. Wait for the next update. ;)

Jokes ( Dirty ) ;)

2009-12-10T05:23:00.000-08:00

Turner Brown.

Kramer goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown".

Kramer just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you Ok?"

In a very weak voice Kramer says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown."

Kramer said, "Oh Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn Around'"

Tickle me Elmo.

There is a factory in Eastern Wisconsinwhich that the Tickle Me Elmo toys. In case you didn't know, the toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.

She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."

"Your job was to give Elmo two test tickles."

Breakfast is kicking.

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since his family lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.

'Not yet momma,' said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

'How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?' he asks.

'Well,' his mother says, 'I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk.'

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: 'Are you going to tell him, or should I?

That's it for the day folks! If you don't understand, feel free to ask me. :)

2009-10-31T06:43:00.000-07:00

Hi guys! I'm back! Lol. Things have not been going accordingly to my schedule, planned activities aren't going as usual and i am working to the bone, seriously, i am very tired.. But, tomorrow is the first day of the new month and i am gonna try a new schedule!

Been having bad luck the past few days, very bad luck. I hope my bad luck shall end by today midnight because tomorrow is also the first day of my chalet outing! So, i gonna have fun all day long! :)

Gonna find a new job next week! Have to reach my goal by the end of 30Nov..

You are the only one for me. Yes, it's you, no doubt about it...

Holidays!

2009-10-12T23:57:00.000-07:00

The N-levels are over and there are tons of activities for me to follow up on. Most people may be partying or hanging about, with their thrilled faces, grinning from ear to ear. I won't be partying much as the others, as my activities are not even relevant to parties and games. My activities include gym workouts, cycling in the woods, hiking and some other more which are sports related.
Gotta do this alone, i suppose. Probably going to start this week, so i won't be so free. First time in the holidays that i am not free. K, Bye, signing off!

Heartwrenching

2009-09-06T05:37:00.000-07:00

I doubt there are even any people visiting this blog. I wonder if anybody can see, this writer is already trying his best, pushing himself to the limit, just to strive for the goal, etched in his mind deeply, but is actually bearing the sarcastic and harsh remarks from people, including his family. Even the writer's mother called him useless, what's there to say? Even my family doesn't support me, how can i muster the courage and determination to carry on my will?
Apparently, my N-levels are are getting dangerously closer and closer. I am doing my best to study, even if some of my friends don't believe it. However, my family is breaking down. I am getting numerous of mental blows every moment. But, i chose to ignore all this. Although i had managed to ignore all this, i couldn't ignore the harsh words that my mother said to me. People may say that those are words of encouragement actually, but, deep down in my heart, the truth is blatant, she completely looks down on me.
Many people would just tell me, "Shaun, she said this to spite you. She knows you will do her proud.". Nonsense! Every time she comes back from work, she always vented her anger on me for her unhappiness at work. I tolerated all that. Never would i know, one day, she would actually think that ingrate, good-for-nothing unfilial sister of mine is more important than me? Of course, i couldn't take this lying down. I tried to explain to her about my studies and examination importance and she said, "Don't use your studies as an excuse. You can even leave this house if you want to.".
How deeply hurt was i? How disappointed was i? How agitated was i? Unmeasurable. I didn't leave the house, because of the one vow i made to my grandmother before her death. My grandmother last wishes was to see my family reunited and witnessing me growing up to be a fine man. Since Heaven was being so unfair to her, i vowed to fulfill her wishes.
Am i that useless? I can't even save my family. Maybe, i shouldn't even exist. Probably, i am even the cause of all problems. Yeah, i should be...

2009-08-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

A post of my illness. Very sick now, can hardly move. Not going to school on Monday and Tuesday, gonna miss two or three papers of the Prelims.
Blogger sucky now, became so weird. Ok, gonna eat my medicine now, bye.

2009-08-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hii, i'm back. Prelims coming soon, have to study. I also need to save money and keep saving. Ok, going off, bye.

2009-07-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

Hi guys, back to posting. Couple of things happened a few days back and now, the consequences is taking its place. Played too much basketball and hurt my ankle, which is now disabling my movements. Gotta go now, bye!

Oh yeah, what's up with blogger? Can't post the way i want..

2009-07-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

Yo guys, i am back, better than ever! Didn't post any entries for the past few days, my apologies. A good day i had, relaxing whole day in front of my computer. Around 7p.m, i suddenly got the feeling to play basketball so i went down to the basketball court near my house. Practised a few moves and saw one malay boy whose shooting was morally excellent. Challenged him to a match, won 2 sets out of 3 sets.

I say, he was a good opponent for his age, i would like to change pointers with him again, given another chance. Later on, i and him rested when one guy came toward us. He asked if we would like to team up with him and challenge the other three strangers from the opposite of the basketball court. At first, i was unwilling as i was already robbed of my stamina and energy by a great deal. In the end, the malay boy persuaded me to play and i relented.

In the beginning, it was manageable as the opponent didn't seem that tough. As the game carried on, things were getting more and more intense. There was one guy, who is chinese, was excellent for his lay up. To my team, he was a threat on the scores. The guy we teamed up with, was obviously from china, judging from his tone of speech. It was clear that his dribbling was good but not his jump shots. I was satisfied as i scored the most, some by luck, i would say. We won, after a gruelling match, by 2sets of 11-9 and 11-6 respectively.

I gained a lot of experience from that, was happy to have acquainted these people, hope to meet them again. Ok, signing off! Bye!

2009-07-07T06:38:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, Quan Jie, this post is for you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! GUAILAN KIA! lol. Just don't keep calling me gay, srsly. It's starting to get on my nerves.

2009-07-07T06:33:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, it's been a long time since i've posted. First week of school was seriously damn fun! Going to study for my N-levels now. Cannot do any slacking now. &&, i need to do some serious body building work out. My stomach showing le, haiz, been eating too much with the dudes during the holidays, just had buffet and steamboat with them last friday and saturday respectively. K, signing off, bye!

2009-06-29T05:22:00.000-07:00

First day of school, and it was good, a lot of slacking though. Lol, we guys were crapping as usual and the class was so noisy. After school, we went to have our lunch? Junpeng and I walked to the place while the rest went by bus. I had a nice chat with Junpeng, chatted about anime. After meeting the dudes, realised there were no activities later, walked to the bus stop with Junpeng, Justin, Weiheng and QuanJie.

On the bus, it was quite fun, when you have two very guailan guys shooting bad remarks about Justin, Lol. Justin was pathetic as we three were like ganging up on him. Well, he accompanied me though, thanks. Reached home in a jiffy.

Went to the gym just now. My belly's showing, need to exercise more. Tomorrow having P.E, going all out for it, haha. K, signing off! Bye.

Oh yeah, one joke i found.

SeX Scandals.

A couple walked into a tourist shop in Jamaica. The Jamaican said to them, I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. “Dey makes you wild at sex.”

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex God he was.

The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?” The Jamaican replied, “Just try dem on, Mon.” So, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican’s hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming, “You got dem on the de wrong feet man! You got dem on de wrong feet!”

2009-06-29T01:22:00.000-07:00

muahahaha!!! here i am again..
today is de first day of sch reopen!!!
still in holiday mood hahaz

ignore the first paragraph, she is crapping

whatever... Zzz
Signing off..

2009-06-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

Woots, it's been a long time since i've updated. Yesterday, i went to WenJie BBQ party. Somehow, it is not a party but a gathering for basketball, Lol. I had to leave early because i had obligations, Lol. Ok, i am going back to gaming, signing off!

2009-06-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

What a turnout of events this week!

Wednesday, we went to play basketball, i think. Oh great, it was so fun, we kept laughing while playing basketball. A lot of things happened, lazy to elaborate. Then, after basketball, we went to the void deck nearby to have a rest. Someone mentioned about eating steamboat? Eventually, this sentence leads to my next paragraph.

Thursday, the dudes and I went to WenJie's brother's house for steamboat. Hmm, let me see, who went? JinLan, Adeline, Debbie, YongSheng, Sean, Jie Hauw, Jia Chen, Quan Jie, Si Jie, WenJie, Wei Heng, Jun Hwee and me, i suppose that's all. What a pity, some people couldn't stay overnight. It was quite boring during some parts of the stay, but overall, fun.
Morning came and almost all of us went down to have a swim. Oh god, it was so good. We were all full of fatigue, we needed a refresher. We played wrestling in the water with our favourite anime characters. Poor WeiHeng, he was constantly being beaten up. After a game of headers, i headed back for the house. I found untidiness very uneasy, so i cleaned the whole living room. Three little pigs were sleeping, so i did it all by myself. Sean came up later to help me.

Still got much much more to update but as i think of it, my post will be too long-winded, Lol. Ok, signing off, bye!

2009-06-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

muahahaha!!
guess who am i??

gt nth better 2 do so come post at this blog..
happy holiday everyone!!!

2009-06-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

What a day! I shall update from yesterday. After the chalet, i went back home and got some sleep. I don't know some guy mention something about finishing the leftover food from the BBQ at anyone's house. In the end, we agreed to meet at Sean's house for steamboat. I was supposed to be early, ok, i swore, but due to some circumstances, i was the latest to reach. Then, another crazy dude mentioned about staying overnight but i still agreed to stay. Played PS2 all the way, Lol. Sean kept disturbing JiaChen about some stuff, rofl!

Ok, today's post. JL came to look to me after band, then we went to my house. After some time, i sent her home and went to play basketball with the dudes. God damn it, i slept on the bus and overshot i went, when i woke up, I was in Buona Vista, I was like 'wth?!' I had to take another bus back. Reached the court about 730, played a few matches, although not in very good form. On my way back, I saw some policeman chasing a guy, Lol. One of the policeman was scolding the guy, and the guy was like ranting vulgar back at him. Supposedly this crazy guy must have molest a girl or something, or even worse, he punched some policeman, thinking he is the fastest runner in the world, and got himself in a sticky situation, Lol. Ok, enough posting, going to start my gaming. Signing off, bye!

2009-06-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

Finally, i am back from the chalet and doing my cyber activities as usual. It was quite fun, although i had to spend a bit more than the others, if you all know what i mean. I think all of our relationship had improved and more bonding, i suppose. I am looking forward to the N-levels, ain't i weird? (Ps: Now, i love you even more and think of you even more. Missing you a lot.)

Crazy Day

2009-06-03T04:19:00.000-07:00

Hi guys, i am blogging, apparently, but not at my own house, at WenJie's house. The usual gang went to his house for some partying, without booze and girls though as we are still not of age, so not exactly that fun. I suppose i will update this after dinner, Brb!

Here are more jokes! Lol!

2009-06-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

“Dave, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go, Dave.”

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:

“Dave… Dave… Dave, you sick bastard. You’re a vet.”

Next one.. ^^

Suddenly the man screams in disgust.

“What’s the matter hun?” asked his wife. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” replies the man, “but I just realized that when the doctor did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders.” (Disgusting, don't blame me, lol)

Another one.. ^^

So the other night my wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we’re laying in bed. I looked over at her and, in my sexiest voice, asked her “Wanna have sex?”

“No.” She answered.

I said, “Is that your final answer?”

“Yes.” She replied.

So I said, “I’d like to phone a friend.”

Next, this is funny!

This is my kindergartener’s artistic rendering of a pair of scissors. I wonder what his teacher thought… I allowed myself just a small smirk when I saw it. I waited until he was out of the room before I started crying, from laughing so hard.

Well, of course they’re scissors. If you know someone with small children or you’re a teacher… you will love this! I can certainly imagine seeing this proudly displayed on a mother’s fridge at home… (Ps: This is real, Lol!)

Last one, seriously.

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”

“Onions?”

“Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated the wife and daughter. So the daughter said ” Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?”

The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?”

“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!” (I’ll never look at Christmas trees the same way again.)

Some (dirty) jokes to be shared. Sorry if i offended you!

2009-06-02T03:24:00.001-07:00

Three friends were playing golf one beautiful Sunday morning, as usual, and they never missed a weekend. As one of them was about to take the first tee a guy, by himself, asked if he could join their flight. The friends looked at each other and figured “sure, why not,” as they haven’t played with anyone else in quite some time.

So they teed off and all four were getting along pretty well. Right about the turn, on the 9th hole, they were all chit chatting and getting to know one another. Curious, one of the friends asked the new guy what he did for a living and, funny enough, he told them he was a hitman. They all kind of laughed it off, and asked him again – this time seriously.

The stranger said “No really, I’m hitman. My gun is in my golf bag, I carry it everywhere I go. You can take a look if you don’t believe me, I’ve never been dishonest.”

So one of the guys in the group decided to take him up on the offer and, opening the bag, sure enough revealed a really nice rifle with huge scope mounted at the top. He got all excited about it. He said “WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look through it?”

“Sure,” said the stranger.

So the man looked around for a second and said “HELL YEAH! You can! I can even see through my windows into my bedroom. There’s my wife, naked. Sweet! Isn’t she beautiful? WAIT! There’s my next door neighbor! He’s naked too! And he’s in my room!”

This upset the golfer, terribly, so he asked the hitman how much he would charge for a hit. The hit man replied “It’s $1000 every time I pull the trigger.” The man said “$1000, ouch! Well, OK. I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She’s always nagging at me and I can’t stand it. Then I want you to shoot my neighbor right in the crotch, for screwing around with my wife.”

The hit man agrees, gears up and takes aim through the scope. He’s looking for what has to be 10 minutes. The golfer begins to get impatient and asks the hitman what he’s waiting for. The hitman replies kind of anxiously, “Just hold on a minute… I’m about to save you a thousand bucks!”

Another one ^^

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since his family lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.

‘Not yet momma,’ said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

‘How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?’ he asks.

‘Well,’ his mother says, ‘I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.’

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: ‘Are you going to tell him, or should I?

Some (dirty) jokes to be shared. Sorry if i offended you!

2009-06-02T03:24:00.000-07:00

The stranger said “No really, I’m hitman. My gun is in my golf bag, I carry it everywhere I go. You can take a look if you don’t believe me, I’ve never been dishonest.”

“Sure,” said the stranger.

2009-05-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. tomorrow's activities will be postponed sadly. Signing off!

2009-05-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

Lol, yesterday went fishing with Sean and his family. Although it was a fruitless trip, it was still quite fun, haha. Haiz, bored.

2009-05-28T04:04:00.000-07:00

Nothing much today, in short, boring day. Signing off.

2009-05-27T06:51:00.001-07:00

Damn it, today's enrichment was a total ripoff of my time. It was so boring, i kept dozing off. The instructor totally bores me out, the way she speaks, is enough to rob you of your energy. I suggest she should change her job and be a counselor or something. After that so-called "enrichment" programme, i walked home with JunPeng, chatted quite happily, Lol. Rushed towards my own home, bathed, slept for four hours. Great day for me, excluding the morning activities, seriously, it was bored. Signing off, bye!

2009-05-26T04:16:00.000-07:00

Finally finished the first enrichment programme today.. It was real fun in the beginning but later on, it became a bit bored, i kept falling asleep, Lol. I nearly broke my nail while playing with QuanJie. When i noticed my finger kept twitching, i looked at my finger and found out it was covered with blood. It looked like it was on the verge of dropping out, Lol. I am still able to type, despite that incident. K, signing off, Bye!

Explore within.

2009-05-25T04:09:00.000-07:00

Had enrichment programme today instead of the usual boring lessons when u have to stare at the teacher for one whole hour and it will still continue. It was damn fun, shooting sarcasm at the teachers, joked with them too. The coach was good, or i mean, somehow better than the previous trainers. At least i learnt something, hehe. Signing off, Bye!

2009-05-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

Went to the gym with the dudes again, though some weren't with us. Then, we went to play basketball and i called Zhen Hao to play too. Somehow, Quan Jie and I used peer pressure to force JiaChen to come and play baskeball with us, haha. We had some fun till WeiHeng came, as usual, he brought in more laughter ever since he arrived. Chatted about some stuff, then we all splited up, bck to our respective homes. And, here am i, blogging. Now, signing off! Bye!

2009-05-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was fun. Went to sean's house to play some games, then met jinlan and adeline for dinner. Lol, Sean had some fruitful experience as we accompanied the girls home. I will post for today, later.

Tiring..

2009-05-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Played basketball today, then we sat down and chatted about some interesting things, maybe some would like to know, some wouldn't even want to hear of it, Lol. Nowadays,I am really tired of all these. Maybe, i should take a break. Should i give up? Haha, perhaps or perhaps not, depending on the situation.. Signing off..

2009-05-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

Today was quite fun, went to JunPeng's house to discuss something, then headed to JurongEast for basketball. Overall for today, cool! Bye, signing off.

Quiz!

2009-05-18T06:15:00.000-07:00

1. Jinlan
2. Sean
3. Jie Hauw
4. Hilary
5. Yong Sheng
6. Justin
7. Sin Yi
8. Yilian
9. Ailin
10. Debbie
11. Adeline
12. Shawn
13. Beiling
14. Xing Shun
15. Shahiran
16. Jun Hwee
17. Jia Chen
18. Alvina
19. Wei Heng
20. Sam

1. How did you meet 7? (Sinyi)- Err, when i laterally dropped to Sec Two Normal Academic Stream, I was in the same class as her. Why remind me of my sad past! This question sucks, Lol.
2.What would you do if you and 15 had never met? (Shahiran)- Wow, what a pity, i would say!
3. What would you do if 20 and 1 dated? (Jinlan and Sam)- Wtf. Sam, you better watch out..
4. Have you seen 17 cried? (Jia Chen)- Erm, not exactly, but i heard of it.
5. Would 4 and 16 make a good couple? (Hilary and Jun Hwee)- Oh my god, that sounds so weird!
6. Do you think 11 is attractive? (Adeline)- Haha, i suppose i can't say no, isn't that right, Sean?
7. What's 2 favourite colour? (Sean)- Erm, Lime Green?
8. When was the last time you talked to 9? (Ailin)- I think it was about four days ago.
9. What language does 8 speaks? (Yilian)- English and Chinese. Maybe there's others i am not aware of, not that close to her, Lol.
10. Who is 13 going out with? (Beiling)- Erm, I don't know. Seriously.
11. Would you ever date 17? (Jia Chen)- Oh no, definitely not! By th way, he's reserved. Lol.
12. Where does 18 live? (Alvina)- If i am not wrong, she should be living near me. Lol, can't anyhow disclose my friend's address on the internet, can I?
13. What's the best thing about 4? (Hilary)- Hmm, her cheerfulness? She's always smiling, don't know why.
14. What would you like to tell 10 right now? (Debbie)- Fa Fu!!! Lol, joking.
15. What's the best thing about 20? (Sam)- Hoho, his seriousness? I am serious, Sam.
16. Have you ever kiss 2? (Sean)- No Way! If i did, someone whose name starts with 'A' will come after me. Lol.
17. What's the best memory you have of 5? (Yong Sheng)- Him counting money(coins*)? Hahaha!
18.Whens the next time u gonna see 4? (Hilary)- Hmm, tomorrow in school? Her class is just next to mine.
19. How is 7 different from 6? (Justin and Sinyi)- A lot of things, ranging from skin colour to size! Lol. No offence!
20. Have you gotten into trouble with 8? (Yilian)- Maybe but i have no recollection of any.
21. Would you give 19 a hug? Lol, depending on the situation first.
22. When have you lied to lie to 3? (Jie Hauw)- Perhaps but it's nothing serious.
23. Is 11 good at socializing? (Adeline)- Hmm, i think so. (Quack!) Lol!
24. Do you know a secret about 8? (Yilian)- Haha! Speaking of the devil, i've just found out about a secret about her! Lol.
25. Describe the relationship between 12 and 18. (Shawn)- Not sure, shall skip this.
26. What's the best thing about your friendship with 9? (Ailin)- Erm, don't know, how come the questions are becoming harder and harder? Lol.
27. What's the worst thing about 6? (Justin)- Lol, i won't want to say it, he would beat me up.
28. Do you have a crush on 12? (Shawn)- Certainly, definitely, undoubtfully NO!!!!
29. How long have you known 2? (Sean)- Three years and five months, if you count in our sec one meet up.
30. Does 11 have any girlfriend/boyfriend? (Adeline)- Hehe, Sean knows the answer very well, right?
31. Have you wanted to punch 1 in the face? (Jinlan)- Yeah, seriously yeah. (Oh no she's going to come and confront me after reading this, Omg!)
32. Have 20 meet your parents? (Sam)- Er, Sam, have you?
33. How did you meet 11? (Adeline)- Why is this question is reminding of my painful past again!!! Yes, i dropped to Sec Two Normal Academic Stream, I was in the same class as her, so i met her! No more of this!
34. Did you ever accidentally physically hurt 3? (Jie Hauw)- Er, yeah, through basketball.
35. Did you live close to 7? (Sinyi)- Obviously no.
36. What's 8 favourite food? (Yilian)- Not sure. Lol
37. What kind of car does 1 have? (Jinlan)- Lol, she's not even of age to own one, probably a toy car, mabe she's even playing it right now, Rofl!
38. Have you ever travelled anywhere with 9 before? (Ailin)- Oh yes, the first time is work. We went to a sleazy place, Farer Park.
39. If you gave 14 a $100 ,What would he/she spent on? (Xing Shun)- Lol, maybe a new bike. Hahaha, his tyre got stolen. Lol.

2009-05-18T03:20:00.000-07:00

Had a lot of fun today, although i slept soundly for the first three periods, Lol. After school, we actually planned to go Sean's house and play 'Wii' or see his dog (aka duck) but in the end, we decided to go Wei Heng's house to play Xbox. Quite fun but i got tired just by watching them play, Lol. Now going to play Defense Of The Ancient in short, Dota, Lol. Bye, signing off.

Boring Day

2009-05-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

Today was so boring, someone sms me and chat with me? Lol, tomorrow is another schooling day, think going to be fun. The bbq party was the best , haha, although i didn't eat enough. Some of us got injuries though, through some stupid incidents, i'd laugh at it again. I hope the chalet is going to be fun. It sounds funny if u say that i organized it because it is not going to be planned by me. I thought i could plan my girlfriend's birthday but, i don't think i have the chance this year or even next year, or even the year after and so on. Haiz, god damn it, i don't care le, ending my post here. Bye, signing off.

2009-05-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

Today was quite fun, haha. Left a bit of careless mistakes on my Physics Paper 2, my Chemistry is a goner, lol. Perhaps i will update later for today.

2009-05-12T08:37:00.000-07:00

Hey there, this is my first post apparently, though not much from this blog. Anyone, help me out with the tagboard and skin? I always get confused from setting these kind of things. Ok, going to sleep soon, physics ad chemistry papers tomorrow, better get some sleep. Bye.